NUMBER THIRTEEN: f.y.i. i.m.a. u.s.a. m.i.a.

I have decided to forgo the discothèque tonight because I simply cannot stomach another expensive and, on the whole, unpleasant experience. I went last night because I figured, hey, I'm only in France once, it'll build character, and most importantly, it'll be a good story. But I had a kind of shitty day and absolutely do not want to dress up tonight. So I guess a minute ago, when Laura walked out the front door, I guess that was the last time I'll ever see her. Boo hoo, I'll miss not being able to communicate to you. Ironically, tonight is probably the more exciting night because a) it's Thursday, not Wednesday, and lots of people start the weekend on Thursday night-I read that in a college guide book, b) they're going to a new club, c) there's a special DJ there, so hopefully he won't absolutely suck at what he does like the DJs at the Pearl. The DJs here really make you appreciate Moby and Diplo. I am now fully aware of how much Diplo rules, having seen a variety of DJs and a fraction of the spectrum. Maya, good work. I'm sorry he shat on your head an heart when he went "TO SAVE STRIPPERS IN BRAZIL [COZ they ALWAYS NEED MUSIC TO DANCE TO]" and d) There are actually going to be new people there. Well, from what Victoria and Laura told me, just one new person, and Maureen, which is two more people than we usually hang out with. 

I copped out so that I can lie on the couch watching The Office and occasionally yell out the window to the kids below like a crotchety old lady. They're obnoxious and, and evidently "French people are loud and obnoxious, shut up" means absolutely nothing to them. 

So here's some details I forgot:

1. Once I was in Nice at the bus station and a guy with an Italian accent kept calling me "bella." Not flattering. He was wearing capris. 

2. Last night Victoria's mom had friends over and I got a weird vibe from one of the guys, so I asked Victoria and she said that he's a bit of a pervert. I was sitting across the room from him and had to reach over to my shoes and put them on, which was a tricky maneuver while wearing a skirt. I noticed that Creepy was staring at me, mouth open. Look sharp, asswad.

3. I was following Victoria and Laura the other day, and for some reason they led me across the street when the light was red. I was almost hit by a car. The guy started yelling at me, and once I regained my composure I summoned the lung power to shout, "Fuck you I'm foreign!" Way to rep the USA.